Wednesday, August 5, 2009

August Already?!?!... My Bday!... Some Ramblings...

Life always has changes and to tell you the truth, I've never really liked them unless it was a good change that I wasn't afriad of or got me worried. I have to say that growing up into an adult has been hard and my CHD hasn't made things easier.

When I was little and just finding out about my CHD and what it all means I had nightmares. I had these nightmares for years. I remember my dad sleeping on my bedroom floor so I could fall asleep without being scared or if I woke up someone was right there. My dad didn't do this all the time, but most nights he did. As I got older I developed alot of worries about everything not just my CHD. I've been dignosised with an anxiety disorder about a year ago. It came as no surprise to me as I've always been a parnoid worrier. Coping with it has been hard.

I've always have had things to cope especially the past couple of years dignosised with SVT's (fast heart rate) and muscle spasms along with eye surgery, a bad allergic outbreak, an ER visit, my parents divorcing, my cousins house burning down, my beloved great-grandma dying, etc. all in 5yrs.!!! BUT I've taken things in stride. I'm still holding onto faith...

It’s finally August which means my birthday is fast approaching! I’ll be 22 on the 25th of this month! That is a big milestone in the CHD world. Am I fearful or what my future might hold, absolutely, but I’m very grateful to have another birthday. I will continue to share my CHD story and raise awareness the rest of my life. I will also continue to live my life to the fullest with lots of smiles, love, laughter, tears, frowns, and trying not to have any regret!!! =D
**You know a lot of CHD parents tell me and other CHD adults how they are fearful of letting their child go as they grow up, needless to say ALL parents do, but even more so with a CHD kid. They worry all the time (what parent doesn’t) and they want to make sure they are protected (again what parent doesn’t). The point is CHD parents seem to want to overdo it more with their CHDer, understandable as my mom did… BUT we CHDers want to be treated as much as regular kids as possible… SO CHD parents: Let them be KIDS, let them LIVE, let them EXPERIENCE things... sure there will be times where they will test you (we are good at that), BUT we were given this heart to LIVE, LEARN, LOVE, GIVE, and TEACH like others can’t! So, let us be US and TEACH them their limits, but don’t go overboard… as I heard from one heart mom: stop asking “why”, you’ve got ONE life to LOVE so LIVE it!!!**

...IN OTHER NEWS: As for what I’ve been up to lately, not too much. Things have been crazy busy now and then, then slow other times… that’s how my summers usually go. Last week my bf and I helped my mom out with her 2nd garage sale of the summer. Then, my boyfriend, Chris, did go for Marine weekend training this past weekend. Sunday my mom and her bf cooked a whole bunch of yummy food and we had a BBQ! I haven’t heard from Medicaid about a hearing date, ugh. I did get my cardiologists letter, to help me get Medicaid, in the mail last week. It was a short, but good letter. I need to write him a “Thank You” letter (or maybe I already did… that’s bad that I don’t remember LOL). Today I found out I got a huge Pell Grant to help my pay my College tuition this year. I was happy about that! Other, than that I’ve been getting ready for my bday, my brother’s gf’s baby shower, and a small trip I’m going to take in Sept (more about that later). My health has been great and I pray it continues to stay that way as I have no Health Insurance.

A HUGE Thank You for all the messages of support, e-mails, and much heard prayers!!! You know it ALL means a lot to me and puts a smile on my face!!! =D

That’s it for now… Sending many **Heart Hugs** and Blessings to everyone!!! I continue to pray for SO many kiddos , adults, and their families!!!

With LOTS of Hope, Love, and Faith,

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