From the time I wake up in the morning till the time I go to bed I have little reminders that I have a CHD, that each day I’m ever so blessed and grateful to be alive. These reminders also keep fear with me, fear of the unknown and worry, things that are so hard to push completely out of my mind.
When I wake, as I get dressed I always see those scars on my chest, I always glance at them. During breakfast I take medication that helps my heart continue to be strong. While walking I sometimes have to stop, I get out of breathe, it hits me again. When I get stressed, I get muscle spasms around my heart (was dignosised with these last year), again it reminds me. At 7 O’clock on the dot every day my cell phone alarm goes off, time for my most important heart med, my beta-blocker. Before bed, I automatically take two baby aspirin with a snack. When I change into PJ’s, those scars make another appearance. As I lay in bed my chest can hurt, my heart is adjusting; it’s beating slowly. I pray, I close my eyes, I never forget. My heart reminds me every day of my life, it affects my life, and it will always be a part of my life.
This CHD has lead to my anxiety disorder, has helped in my stubbornness, has helped me be blunt about things, has given me nightmares, has given me a hidden anger, and has helped me in my very emotional personality. All these negatives of me have been affected by my CHD and are now forever part of my life, BUT…
Though my CHD is a big part of my life and it affects every part of it in some way, I try not to let it define me or hold me back from achieving my dreams. This CHD, though has affected me in negative ways throughout my life, it has also affected me in many positive ways too.
My CHD has taught me to be more understanding of people around me. It has taught me to not take life for granted and to love the people you care about with all your heart. It has taught me that family and close friends are the most important things in life. It has taught me to enjoy the simple things in life and to enjoy the small positives of everyday. It brought me together with so many wonderful and amazing people. It has given me a motivation to help others and to always have faith. Lastly, my CHD has affected my personality in the best way possible as it has helped shape my loving, caring, kind, sweet, inspirational, brave, and strong character.
Just because you have a chronic illness doesn’t mean you can’t live, laugh, love, have fun, and make memories…
My CHD will never go away, but I will take what I can from it and keep living my life to the fullest… I LOVE my life and I consider my mended heart a gift!!!
With LOTS of Hope, Love, and Faith,
♥
